Friday, November 14, 2014

Junior Junkie Sends a Pile of Junk

Let's go through these horrible cards from The Junior Junkie. Ugh.

2014 Stadium Club Toddfather, Votto, Cingrani. Clean, crisp, bright photography. Way to remind me about how lazy Topps is with their other sets and how sub-par the printing is. Garbage.

2014 Topps Finest Votto, Chapman, Hamilton, Bruce. What the hell are these? Rainbow bullshit, that's what. This is the 'finest' Topps has to offer, huh? Pitiful. Are these parallels? How can you tell? 0 for 7 so far.

2014 Bowman Chrome Jay Bruce, Tyler Mahle. Oh, so you somehow knew I picked up a stack of the Chrome base but neglected to grab the Bruce? You're showing off. Not a good trait. And who the frack is Tyler Mahle? Some kid? I collect cards of kids now?

2014 Bowman Platinum Jay Bruce (Gold parallel), Nick Travieso (Base). I'VE ALREADY SEEN THAT BRUCE PHOTO IN THE FINEST SET. STRIKE TEN ON YOU, JUNKIE.

2000-something Upper Deck Classics Silver Parallel Ted Kluszewski /399, 2000-something Upper Deck Sweet Spot Classics Johnny Bench. A parallel I didn't even know existed. Great. Now I have more shit to hunt down. What a burden this is becoming.

Here's some shit I already had. Now I need to pay it forward like a good collector. How dare you make me be generous. How dare you.

AW YES! Finally some redemption. Screw off Topps, UD and all you other big-name conglomerates. Here are some true works of art. 1995 Megacards (Yeah. MEGAcards. That's, like, a MILLION cards) Wish List Ken Griffey Sr./Jr. If you don't count Bobby, the Griffeys beat the Bondses by 20. So there's that. We also have a 1996-1997 Scoreboard All Sport PPF Calvin Reese. How do you make a card with Pokey Reese and not call him Pokey? Crazy.

You barely redeemed yourself, Junkie. You know what you get? F+. You passed, BUT BARELY.

Go Reds.


  1. Holy hell. That a-hole just dumped a ton of worthless shit on you. What a jagoff.

  2. I'm gonna go cry in the corner and pretend I don't love this abuse...