Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Junk

Everyone's favorite Louisianan, The Junior Junkie, recently threw a jam-packed PWE at me. In it was a note along the lines of "Needed to get rid of this junk", or "Take this junk off my hands", or something. I don't recall exactly. WELL THEN. If a stack of sweet, sweet Reds cards is just a pile of junk to a non-Ohioan/Kentuckian, then I guess I'll just have to treat it as such in order to appease the beleaguered masses of fans of those other 29 teams. Let's get to it.

2011 Topps Lineage Giant Box Loader Joey Votto. What is this garbage? This card is too big to even store nicely. Come one Topps. Keep things 2x3. What a piece of junk.

2012 Bowman Prosepect Autographs Sean Buckley. Psh. Buckley isn't even in the Majors. He's on some single-A team in Dayton. This is certified junk.

1991 Upper Deck Mike Sciocia ft. Barry Larkin. Oh, what? A cameo of Hall of Famer Barry Larkin is supposed to make me think this isn't junk? NOPE. Early 90's = junk. Nice try.

I'm not even going to type the names of these. They're not even on the current Reds roster. Ju-Ju-Ju-Junk.

Nice golf outfit, Junky Junkerson.

2007 Upper Deck Goudey Heads Up Johnny Bench. Hey, Upper Deck. You can't fool me. That's not even Johnny Bench's real body. Nice try. What a piece of junk.

Ivan Rodriguez and Ted Williams aren't even Reds! And that's a Chattanooga Lookouts jersey on the Pokester! Junk, junk, and junk.

1957 Topps Johnny Temple. Come on. This card is so old. No gloss. No foil. No serial number. And what the hell is a Redleg? Vintage junk is still junk.

Thanks for the cards, TJ the JJ. They will be cherished always.

Go Reds.

2 comments:

  1. Look at the Goudey Heads Up card. The "shadow" under squatting Bench looks like a puddle. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Nice golf outfit, Junky Junkerson."

    Thanks for the laugh ;)

    ReplyDelete